These people don’t work on deserving the things that they wish to have so they get caught up in this big drama, trying on different masks and alibi’s and sometimes those lies work (even then it’s short lived), sometimes they don’t.
Maturity on the other-hand…is about coming to reality, on reality’s terms. Not coming at it with what we WISH were true…but isn’t. Acceptance of “the truth” IS maturity.
Those who don’t get it never work on themselves when it comes to what they truly want, they never work on that little whiny, manipulative kid inside…transforming it into an adult. So it’s no surprise when those jokers sometimes get what they genuinely want it leaves just as quickly as it came, they’re not ready. Eventually they find themselves asking the same question you just did, “How do I become more mature?”. Not saying that’s YOUR case it’s possible I guess that you’re here only for research.
Why IS IT that way with some people though?
Well, I have a theory to that…see, when we’re little we swiftly learn that getting upset and throwing a tantrum works sometimes when we want candy, or a Popsicle, or to stay up past our bedtime. Those games worked when we were younger so many try and stick to their guns as they get older I think.
By the time we reach our twenties though these games have only become more elaborate and complex, but not transcended. We lie to those around us trying to subtly change how we’re seen by the world, gauging all along the way. We’re so afraid of pissing someone off that we never truly show ourselves, instead we try and fit ourselves into this gray area called normalcy.
Go out and look around today, look in people’s eyes…most aren’t there, they’re off thinking about something else, caring too much about what you think of them, look at how they all walk, roughly the same rigid way, the conversations are the same for the most and no one ever connects never sees the essence of another person they meet.
But hell it’d be too exhausting to be real with every person we meet, every check out lady or bagger, I know that I don’t always feel like I’m happy and yet still say “I’m fine, how’re you” when someone asks how I am. I lie sometimes too in the mundane, general sense of the word. But I beg to differ about being “real with everyone” as a more exhausting approach to life.
I think it takes more effort to hold up a mask then to hold out our hand.
We shouldn’t have to think about what we’re going to say in later situations…or plan some speech where we get some certain outcome…that is manipulative and childish, the pen ultimate is the improvised life. The adult fully mature person has no need for these scripts, excuses, or worrying about what bad might happen all the time.
They are simply good enough because they have worked on deserving ahead of time, they have worked on their character.
I’m not trying to act like I’m better than anyone but it just irritates me that most people are bull shitters in this world. And for those of you who’re still caught up in all the safety and stability of your life, all that entrapments of your insecurity…know that I am LAUGHING AT YOU as you’re standing there all polite and smiling too much to my face(how’s that for being real?).
If you are one, stop being a fake ass, and get the hell over it. Life sucks and is painful and there’s all these risks…it is for all of us, get the hell over it and grow some balls or you’re going to live one miserable life.
Who’re we helping out by telling ourselves “YES we should have blown up and acted like a douche bag at our friend’s house (just for instance)…that our unreasonable anger is OK and good” just because we don’t wanna hurt our own feelings and make ourselves feel like we have an anger problem? IT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO BE HONEST TO OURSELVES FIRST.
It takes guts to tell the truth, to tell someone when they ask “why did she leave me…honestly?”…”it was probably because you were too much a wuss and acted like more of a girl than SHE did”. Ya probably don’t want to be THAT harsh, but I think you get my drift.
It’s doing no one any favors when you lie to them even to save face, not to yourself or ANYONE. And no one’s gonna beat you up for being honest with them when they ask your opinion. People just aren’t as violent or degrading as some of us think they are and there is no real reason to play it safe, we’re not out to get YOU.
Now I’m not trying to give anyone the right to just be rude without reason, but to simply be authentic with one another…please don’t get me wrong. I just find it easier to slip up and give up our authenticity in those sketchy moments, rather than the normal good that we find…so I used those as examples.
In reality, to take down our guard takes a tremendous amount of courage, much like falling backwards into an abyss. To just say whatever comes to your mind regardless of what it is, in faith, is somewhat scary for us. But being ok with instability, that unreasonable, impromptu, in the moment, freedom, is where happiness arises. None of us are robots, asking for some code for someone to figure out in order to find our love…we’re all human and simply looking for the human being within you in which to love. Be yourself, let go, it’s ok.
If some of us don’t like it or find it offensive or find you weird, god forbid, then so what…those people may not have been worth knowing in the first place.